Irish Lass
by Zofie C. Field
Summary: It's St. Patty's Day at the 12th.  A series of St. Patty's Day one-shots.
1. Irish Lass

_An Early St. Patrick's Day story for you._

_Note: None of the characters are mine._

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Irish Lass

Kate Beckett was having an unnerving afternoon. The morning had started out relatively normal. The city was showing its St. Patty's Day spirit. Ryan was talking in an Irish brogue. Castle tried to dye her coffee green (and ended up staining his shirt and having to go home to change). Typical St. Patrick's Day.

But as Kate's day wore on, things started to get weird. An old man playing the bagpipe on a street corner winked and wished her "a very happy day, lassie." The waitress at the diner brought her Irish soda bread instead of her burger. Montgomery attributed a break in the case to the luck of the Irish. The suspect she arrested struggled with her, shouting, "They're always after me Lucky Charms."

Now, all of that could have been chalked up to a bit too much Irish spirit.

But Irish spirit couldn't explain the kissing.

A rookie cop kissed her cheek in the elevator on her way down to see Lanie. An old man sitting in the station puckered up as she walked by. A little boy came up to her at the diner during lunch and gave her a peck on the hand. An eyewitness gave her a quick one on the lips when she thanked him for his cooperation. The snarky teen she hauled in for questioning managed to plant one on her while she was handcuffing him.

By mid-afternoon, she was at the end of her rope, flinching every time someone got within two feet of her.

She finally reached her breaking point around 4pm when Ryan and Esposito managed simultaneous smooches to her cheeks. She was so jumpy by that point she didn't even bother to yell at them. Kate just excused herself and fled to the break room, locking the door behind her. This wasn't normal. Something was wrong. It was like she had a big Kiss Me sign on her back.

Wait a minute.

Kate spun around and glanced over her shoulder to catch her reflection in the window. In the middle of her back was a giant shamrock sticker proclaiming "Kiss Me, I'm Irish!" Her mind flashed to Castle's hand on her back as he passed her a green bear claw that morning. Of course Castle had something to do with this. She should have guessed.

As she was attempting to contort her arm enough to reach the sticker, the elevator pinged and Castle stepped out.

"Castle! Get in here, NOW!"

"Why Detective? Do you want _a kiss_?"

Beckett's face went from annoyed to I-have-a-gun-and-I'm-not-afraid-to-use-it in 0.2 seconds. In a flash, Castle was back in the elevator and frantically pressing the down button.

"I guess that's a 'no' then?" he shouted through the closing elevator doors. "The offer always stands!" He puckered up and blew her an air kiss across the precinct.

Kate's face softened, and a mischievous grin replaced the death glare. When Castle stuck that sticker on her back, there was one thing he forgot. Kate Beckett doesn't get mad. She gets even.

April Fools' Day was two weeks away, and she had a new tube of superglue with his name on it.

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_Thanks for reading!_

_3/15 Update: The sequel to Irish Lass is Jokes On You.  
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	2. Green All Over

_Happy Saint Patrick's Day!_

_Notes: None of these characters are mine. _

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**Green all over**

Castle stepped out of the elevator and Kate's eyes went wide with shock.

"Castle?"

"Beckett!" He grinned at her and started to hand her a cup of coffee.

"That's very funny, Castle. Now, turn around, get back in that elevator, and go home. There's no way you're coming with me today."

"But why?" Castle pasted a look of innocent confusion onto his face.

"You know perfectly well why. Now go."

"Yo, we've got a body," called Esposito, stepping out of the Captain's office.

"Oh god. Not you too." Beckett was staring at Esposito in dismay.

"Did I hear you say we've got a body?" Ryan came jogging around the corner.

At the sight of him, Beckett slumped down, her forehead resting on her desk. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"What's with her?" Ryan asked. Esposito and Castle just shrugged.

"Beckett," Montgomery shouted from his office. "The mayor just called. He wants this one solved today." The Captain stepped out off his office, and glanced at the guys. "You too. Get moving."

Beckett sat up quick and gaped at him. "Sir! You've got to be kidding! They can't go to a crime scene like that!"

"What are you talking about Detective?" Montgomery asked, looking mystified.

Beckett stared at him for a long moment before giving a defeated sigh, grabbing her coat, and heading for the elevators.

They pulled up to the crime scene ten minutes later. Kate bolted from the car, desperate not to be seen with them. Lanie glanced over and caught the look on Kate's face.

"What's up with you? You look like you're gonna murder somebody. My morgue is packed. I can't handle another body."

Kate just nodded over her shoulder towards the guys, who were heading their way.

"What'd they do? Drink your coffee?"

"Lanie! Just look at them!"

"What about them? You sure you're feeling ok?" Lanie looked at Kate, face full of concern.

Kate shook her head in defeat and walked away to examine the crime scene. Maybe she was going crazy. Maybe she had been working too hard. Maybe they were just messing with her. But why? She turned around, planning to figure out what was going on.

"Excellent! I'm so glad you decided to come, Detective!" Striding towards her was the city mayor. He extended a hand, beaming.

"Sir?" Becket was confused. Really, really confused.

"It means so much to us to have one of New York's finest detectives in our St. Patrick's Day parade this year! I was thrilled when Rick called and said you'd decided to come!"

Two weeks ago, she'd been asked to ride on a float in the St. Patrick's Day parade. She'd said no. Definitely not. No way. She'd told the very persistent woman who was organizing the floats (who'd called three times just to make sure she hadn't changed her mind) that there was no possible way she would ride through the streets of New York with a bunch of random guys dressed as leprechauns.

Which, she supposed, explained her morning of green-tinted horror. She turned towards the car, where Castle, Ryan, and Esposito were standing, looking triumphant. Each was dressed in kelly green pants, green spotted shirts, green vests, neon green top hats, and enormous shamrock-shaped sunglasses. Her very own pack of grinning guys dressed as leprechauns.

This, she guessed, was her punishment for refusing to be Mrs. Clause at Castle's Christmas party last year. Well, at least now there was no chance she'd have to sit on Castle's lap and tell him what she wanted from Santa. All of a sudden, a thought dawned on her. A thought that made this day a whole lot less painful. She shook hands with the mayor, and spoke with him quietly for a moment before heading towards the car.

Come to think of it, the guys did look pretty funny. And very, very pleased with themselves. Her face broke into a grin. Castle took off his top hat and offered it to her. She stepped close to him (close enough to make his breath catch) and leaned in so that her lips were right next to his ear.

"I've spoken with your friend, the Mayor. He's so glad you've decided to offer your services to the city this spring."

Castle pulled his head back a little to look at her, confused.

"You're officially the Easter Bunny at the city-wide Easter egg hunt this year. Now hop to it Rick! We've got a parade to attend." She slapped his chest lightly, snatching the shamrock sunglasses off his very stunned face. Grinning, she slipped on the glasses and headed down the street, a leprechaun on each arm.

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_Thanks for reading!_


	3. Brogue

_Happy Saint Patrick's Day!_

_This is just a little quick fic, expanded from a drabble for the Ryan & Esposito mini St. Patty's Day ficathon._

_Note: None of these characters are mine._

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**Brogue**

"Top of the morning to you, lad!" Ryan stepped off the elevator, pulling off his jacket to reveal his hideous bright green St. Patty's Day tie. "This is some mighty fine weather we've been havin'!"

Esposito stared at Ryan as he plopped down at his desk and put his feet up, revealing shamrock socks.

"Bro, why are you talking like a pirate?"

"What? It's an Irish brogue!" Ryan looked slightly affronted.

"Just because you replace 'matey' with 'lad' doesn't change the fact that you sound like pirate," said Esposito matter-of-factly.

"I've been perfecting my accent since I was a kid. It's practically authentic!" Esposito struggled not to laugh at Ryan's earnestness (and gullibility).

"Yeah man, authentic. It sounds like you're fresh off the boat."

"Fresh off the boat from Ireland?" Ryan looked so hopeful that Esposito almost gave in and quit messing with him.

"Sorry bro. I'm pretty sure your pirate's never been within half an ocean of Ireland." Ryan slumped down in his chair, looking a little annoyed.

"But I talk this way every St. Patty's Day. Nobody has ever said I sound like a pirate before."

"Dude, that's because they were too busy wondering why you were talking like Jack Sparrow." Esposito winked at Castle who was sneaking up behind Ryan.

"Aye, 'tis a trying life, the life of an Irishman," Ryan muttered.

"Wow, Ryan. Your pirate impression really needs some work!" A very fed up Ryan whipped around to look at Castle.

Castle managed to hold a straight face for all of two seconds before he began cracking up, Esposito quickly joining him. As they fed the birds, Ryan looked from one to the other, his expression morphing from anger, to confusion, to awe at his complete gullibility.

"Ah, you're a bunch of eejits." Ryan shook his head, glancing towards the elevator, which had just pinged open.

"Aye, top of the mornin' to you, lassie!" Ryan greeted Beckett as she stepped off the elevator.

"Ryan, why are you talking like a pirate?" Beckett looked honestly confused as Ryan thumped his head onto his desk and Esposito and Castle fell into another fit of laughter.

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_Thanks for reading!_


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